Good evening, everyone!!!

Yeah, two blogs, one day, :) 

I told you the wallowing wouldn't last long.  I cleared my head, took a nap, went to group for some wonderful enlightenment on life, and yep, came home to hot vamps and amazing wares and then got back to business, :)

I finished up the dedication, bio, acknowledgement, blurb, and two sentences and sent them off to SMP.  Got the goal/crit partners emailed.  Thought about sleep, but decided to blog first, :)

There is so much fresh in my mind right now.  Like how amazing it is when you have something hounding you for a week and then suddenly a light comes on and you get it.  Life throws all kinds of tests our way be it medical or on a more emotional human to human realm. 

I couldn't figure out why a particular situation was just eating away at me.  Then tonight it hit me so profoundly that it all makes sense now, :)  I told a friend if I thought long enough and attended group this week, answers would come.  Well, they have!!! 

The first thing I was reminded of tonight right out of the gate is how we let life affect us.  This is so true on so many levels.  People, situations, even those little moments in our day that really suck.  We do have the power to control how all of it affects us and how we look at things. 

I know this, I just had to give myself my moment of wallowing in the irritation.  Well, that part is behind me, because frankly all the situations I've been dealing with or will have to deal with only reflect on me in the sense of how I accept and deal with them.  Reaction, such a strong word, huh?!?

Things went back to the "four question" aspect I spoke of in another blog.  So nope didn't get past the first question on one aspect, and yeah, got through all four of them on another aspect of life.  So made the decision to chose how things affect me and not let circumstances affect me.

Kinda like letting the good happen, deal with the bad as it creeps up on me, and continue to live my life.  I can only control how I react, not how someone else reacts.  Everything we do in life or are presented with tests our levels in one aspect or another.  Sure it feels fantastic sitting in the Primative and Emotion aspects of the brain for awhile, but who the hell wants to stay there???  No, life is so much better when we use the Rational part of the brain. 

I've learned a great deal about myself over the course of time.  One thing I know for sure is the person who has begun to emerge from those depths of my own personal hell, is one I'm not only happy with, but proud of.  Why should I allow circumstances or people to take that away from me???  I shouldn't, because it is within my power to hold onto that woman and give her wings to fly. 

Life is a beautiful thing.  I treasure it with all I have.  Why not???  I've been blessed with some pretty amazing adventures and travels along this road.  I've learned a great deal from a great many women who were once broken and have clawed their way back to the top, reinventing themselves along the way, and taking pride in that reinvention.  There is no shame in being once broken, the shame is never knowing you don't have to remain so. 

Things are broken so they can be fixed.  They may not be exactly as they once were, but they have the ability to become better than ever before.  The learning experiences that come with them are mind blowing. 

Does this mean I am over the fear of what the future holds?  Naw, it just means that whatever it does hold, that fear will NOT control me.  That is within my power, and I cling to it with every ounce I have in my being.  This same fear gave me the courage to say, okay, this is what you're going to do, this is how you're going to do it, and firm decisions have been set into place. 

No one knows how much time they have on this earth, but it is not how much time we have, but what we do with it while we have it.  So I will make the most of things, chase those dreams, and shout from every mountaintop as I grab them in my hands, cling to them, and treasure the beauty that dreams are made of.

Everyone have a lovely night!!!

Blessings to all!!!








 


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