I'm not sure where this blog is headed, but with my recent mood (I'm in desperate need of my menopausal mood pills) it is hard telling where this blog will end up with all that I've had on my mind lately.
So hang onto your hats and hope for the best LOL...
As you know I've been doing a LOT of reassessing this summer. The problem with reassessing is life has it's way of 'assisting' you in solidifying these changes by throwing little obstacles in your way to ensure you react differently than you once would.
So recently, instead of reacting I've just shaken my head and then found when I'm in these dark moods, I stew on them. I guess you could say it wouldn't be so bad if it were just one or two directions of the same type of thing, but when the same scenario comes at you from all directions, with several different players it can become overwhelming to a mind that would just rather spout off a few... no a LOT of obscenities and move on.
Now mind you, I'm not alone in some of these scenarios and that is helpful to get it off your mind and out of your system, because you can vent it out in a safe place and move forward. You can also use this to your advantage when other areas of your life these insanities show up, by telling yourself, "It is happening all over not just here."
Then all of the sudden in one day it seems like whatever has gotten under you skin is raining down on you from everywhere. The same situation, a million different players, in every aspect of life. I know this is a sign (because this is part of my belief system) that there is a hard lesson to be learned. So I pay closer attention to what is happening, asking myself, "Why?"
One of the things I've changed up this summer is to watch closely in who I help. Because yes, there are people out there in this world that ask for nothing but do need the help they refuse to ask for, and this is fine to show kindness and assistance without expecting anything in return. Doing it just because and with purity of the heart.
However, there are what I refer to as 'energy vampires' out there in the world. People who would rather you do it for them than for them to try and do something for themselves. This has been the biggest pet peeve of mine for the last few months. People coming at me from all directions, no matter how many 'tools' you give them, they refuse to step up and step out into the unknown and even try for themselves. Or the other side of the coin, refuse to follow the steps provided for them, going as far as to make fun of, bitch about, or act like you are a complete idiot for even suggesting the simple solution, then screw everything up and have the nerve to expect you to fix it when they didn't respect the guidance in the first place.
I've long quit giving advice unless solicited. It's a practice I've been working hard at doing for quite awhile. Occasionally it slips out and I scold myself for it. However, recently the solicited advice is what has me on this rant.
My brain is rattled, my mood is shot (hence the need for my Estoven Mood and Memory, which I am having trouble finding in our area, so the hurry up and wait for the online order to arrive is wearing my nerves thin). The desire to throw my hands up, turn into a hermit, and just look people straight in the eye and say, "Why do ask for my advice if all you are going to do is look down your nose at me, screw things up more, and then come running to me to fix YOUR mess when it is all over?"
Yeah, the bitch in me is coming out in ways I do NOT like. I know it is getting bad when my Baby Bear is all about pulling me away from my thoughts and making me laugh and smile at his antics :) That is another good thing about having this breed of furbie, they can sense easily your emotions and do work effortlessly to change your mood around. I know it is the battle to keep a stupid smile on my face, keep my mouth shut, and move forward that has this black mood filling my head. No outlet until it is mastered has been my motto and recently I've not failed at this until this moment, BUT, man, it is hard. Refocusing the negative thought patterns and replacing them with positive patterns and working to apply them to my life especially when I get in these dark moods.
Sometimes just writing it out helps. I keep reminding myself, my pet peeves are mine and mine alone to bear. Keep your advice to yourself. Mind your own business. And most of all, shake it off.
The upside to this mood, is it is a wonderful tool to use when working with my characters in writing :)
Everybody have a lovely day!!!
Blessings to all!!!