Good morning, everyone!!!
Well my first week is wrapped up on the new job. Yes, the first night kicked my ass a bit, however, that makes for a memorable first day LOL. The second night was an even faster pace, but my little team kicked some ass and got things done. Honestly, the twelve hour shifts didn't even feel like twelve hours, they flew by so quickly.
Now, I have five days off which is something I will have to get used to :) But believe me I will get used to that pretty quickly LOL.
The reason I'm here today on this blog is to talk a bit about what being in the wrong place was doing to me without my really understanding what it was doing to me.
I'm a dreamer, most writers are I suspect. Not just the daydreaming sort of dreamer, but also the type that have vivid dreams almost nightly. I had been so much involved in one area of life that I had stopped dreaming all together. I noticed it, but, not in the way I should have until I made some life changes and suddenly the dreams started coming back in full force. Every night once again.
I used to be able to just look at a landscape of any sort and see a story. Feel the description forming in my mind. I lost that for a while, not that I didn't have beautiful landscapes to look at, because I am a nature person through and through, there's always beauty in the world around us.
Last night my sister and I climbed the ladder to the clubhouse in the woods and sat up there for a few hours. As we sat there quietly peering out into the darkness, vivid images began coming to my mind. The moonlight spilled between the trees, lighting up the forest floor. Everything was in black and white, with tiny glimmers popping up here and there from the plant life that had spent the day absorbing the sun's rays. It's beauty was astounding.
Why am I telling you all of this? Very simple. I had allowed myself to get lost in a world that first of all was not me. I allowed myself to be consumed by a place that only took and never gave back.
When we have a job, we're given a number. A faceless, mindless, and necessary number. A number anyone in the company can look at and say, "Oh, that's so and so." They don't see your face. They don't know your life. They just know your number. Sure, your coworkers know who you are, but that's where the line stops. To those who could make or break you, you are a number.
We put so much time and effort into doing what we believe is expected of us for what??? To be a number on a list of so many other numbers. Is losing ourselves to be a good employee worth that?
One thing I know for sure in this life, if you give, someone out there will take. The more you give, the more they expect of you until they use you up and turn the tables and say, "You didn't prove yourself enough. You didn't give enough."
How much of yourself are you willing to give?
I know my sister is most likely prejudice when it comes to seeing my worth, LOL. She's probably my biggest fan, so she always reminds me I am worth more. However, she also helps me see the light when I am blinded by the darkness. Because frankly, she's right, I am worth more than I give myself credit for. I work hard for whatever company I work for and I give my all. But this time, I crossed a line. I allowed them to swallow me up and steal a part of me that has been a part of me since I was a little girl, my imagination.
It only took a few years for me to understand that, because frankly, when a job throws you bits and pieces of praise to keep you doing their bidding, it feeds the ego a bit, and makes you question your self worth. But, the thing you have to ask yourself is, "Is it worth the cost?" Because everything comes with a price.
A dear childhood friend reminded me of this the other day. She has a granddaughter she brought to my book signing. This particular granddaughter loves to write. She told her of the times when she and I would write 'books' to each other in the form of letters. She told her granddaughter, writing has been in my blood for a long time.
See this is what happens when you let go of things that are consuming you. Things that lead you away from your rightful path. I love writing. I also love working outside the home. However, if the outside the home work is taxing your senses, to the point where you are too exhausted to do what you love, then, maybe it's time to look elsewhere for work.
The job I do now, is physical, which keeps me moving. However, it also allows my brain to be alone with itself and feed those 'imaginations' needed for the work I truly love, writing.
I asked myself the other day, "Why didn't you do this years ago?" Very simple, I needed the experiences I've had to allow me to appreciate this aspect of life so much more. I feel I'm in a much better place all around for me. I can get my life back on track, without stressing so much over things that truly didn't matter in the first place. But, to get to this place I had to be in that place. Life's lessons learned and applied to life. Isn't that what life is all about anyway???
Everyone have a lovely day!!!
Blessings to all!!!
Well my first week is wrapped up on the new job. Yes, the first night kicked my ass a bit, however, that makes for a memorable first day LOL. The second night was an even faster pace, but my little team kicked some ass and got things done. Honestly, the twelve hour shifts didn't even feel like twelve hours, they flew by so quickly.
Now, I have five days off which is something I will have to get used to :) But believe me I will get used to that pretty quickly LOL.
The reason I'm here today on this blog is to talk a bit about what being in the wrong place was doing to me without my really understanding what it was doing to me.
I'm a dreamer, most writers are I suspect. Not just the daydreaming sort of dreamer, but also the type that have vivid dreams almost nightly. I had been so much involved in one area of life that I had stopped dreaming all together. I noticed it, but, not in the way I should have until I made some life changes and suddenly the dreams started coming back in full force. Every night once again.
I used to be able to just look at a landscape of any sort and see a story. Feel the description forming in my mind. I lost that for a while, not that I didn't have beautiful landscapes to look at, because I am a nature person through and through, there's always beauty in the world around us.
Last night my sister and I climbed the ladder to the clubhouse in the woods and sat up there for a few hours. As we sat there quietly peering out into the darkness, vivid images began coming to my mind. The moonlight spilled between the trees, lighting up the forest floor. Everything was in black and white, with tiny glimmers popping up here and there from the plant life that had spent the day absorbing the sun's rays. It's beauty was astounding.
Why am I telling you all of this? Very simple. I had allowed myself to get lost in a world that first of all was not me. I allowed myself to be consumed by a place that only took and never gave back.
When we have a job, we're given a number. A faceless, mindless, and necessary number. A number anyone in the company can look at and say, "Oh, that's so and so." They don't see your face. They don't know your life. They just know your number. Sure, your coworkers know who you are, but that's where the line stops. To those who could make or break you, you are a number.
We put so much time and effort into doing what we believe is expected of us for what??? To be a number on a list of so many other numbers. Is losing ourselves to be a good employee worth that?
One thing I know for sure in this life, if you give, someone out there will take. The more you give, the more they expect of you until they use you up and turn the tables and say, "You didn't prove yourself enough. You didn't give enough."
How much of yourself are you willing to give?
I know my sister is most likely prejudice when it comes to seeing my worth, LOL. She's probably my biggest fan, so she always reminds me I am worth more. However, she also helps me see the light when I am blinded by the darkness. Because frankly, she's right, I am worth more than I give myself credit for. I work hard for whatever company I work for and I give my all. But this time, I crossed a line. I allowed them to swallow me up and steal a part of me that has been a part of me since I was a little girl, my imagination.
It only took a few years for me to understand that, because frankly, when a job throws you bits and pieces of praise to keep you doing their bidding, it feeds the ego a bit, and makes you question your self worth. But, the thing you have to ask yourself is, "Is it worth the cost?" Because everything comes with a price.
A dear childhood friend reminded me of this the other day. She has a granddaughter she brought to my book signing. This particular granddaughter loves to write. She told her of the times when she and I would write 'books' to each other in the form of letters. She told her granddaughter, writing has been in my blood for a long time.
See this is what happens when you let go of things that are consuming you. Things that lead you away from your rightful path. I love writing. I also love working outside the home. However, if the outside the home work is taxing your senses, to the point where you are too exhausted to do what you love, then, maybe it's time to look elsewhere for work.
The job I do now, is physical, which keeps me moving. However, it also allows my brain to be alone with itself and feed those 'imaginations' needed for the work I truly love, writing.
I asked myself the other day, "Why didn't you do this years ago?" Very simple, I needed the experiences I've had to allow me to appreciate this aspect of life so much more. I feel I'm in a much better place all around for me. I can get my life back on track, without stressing so much over things that truly didn't matter in the first place. But, to get to this place I had to be in that place. Life's lessons learned and applied to life. Isn't that what life is all about anyway???
Everyone have a lovely day!!!
Blessings to all!!!