This week I posted a post on my Facebook page that yes, caused me to lose like 3 friends on that page, but in my heart and soul I believe firmly in my post and my decision to either delete or them delete me. I will not apologize for this post just as I will not apologize for the Facebook post. This is something I firmly believe in and if you are on the other side of this fence, I hope you have more just reasons than, "A woman has the right to chose what she does with her body."
Before I was ever a mother, just a teenager in this life, abortion was introduced on a wide scale. I am not going to sit here and preach my beliefs, rather, I am going to sit here and write you a true story of a child someone once said should have been aborted.
On January 24th, 2013 the day was moving right along. My daughter was sitting in her hospital bed, eating Arby's her father and I brought her. I made sure to bring one of their Lava Cakes, because my unborn grandchild would get so excited when you mentioned chocolate cake. Her monitors would go crazy, she would wiggle and squirm. So of course being the grandma I am, she got her cake :)
She was three months from her scheduled birth date of May 5th. Cinco de Mayo :) Her mother was a New Year's baby, her sister born on St. Patty's Day. So, her due date was only fitting :)
I helped her mom with her shower. Because mom couldn't be alone for a shower just in case our angel wanted to come into the world. We got her back into bed. In just a short time, labor happened. The nurses and doctors couldn't make it stop. In fact, things got serious, the placenta broke away all together. My daughter and granddaughter were dying.
I thank the good Lord and Lady every day for what happened next. The doctor had her in surgery in moments, pulling my granddaughter from her now not so safe place.
My first look at my beautiful granddaughter was the top picture. Tubes and wires all over her. People would say, see a good reason for an abortion. Well, if that had happened, my story would end and there would not be any life's lessons to tell.
During this time I was filled with two very powerful emotions. One was hate, it consumed me in such a force I have no idea how I survived it. The other however, is most likely what got me through, love.
I don't do well with strong emotions. In fact, strong emotions consume me so deeply, I can't hide nor control them. A vulnerable state that eats me alive.
We spent seven weeks and one day between home and a NICU. We crammed a lifetime in those short few weeks.
When Ali was born, her little head was no bigger than a Cutie orange. However, what I witnessed in that tiny being has convinced me that yes, unborn babies are not only a living breathing mini person, but also already has their own personality.
I won't focus on the hatred I had for the father, who put my daughter and granddaughter in this position. Because I've come to grips that karma will prevail here. I will, however, focus on the love aspect of this time.
I watched this little angel from the moment of birth, take on her own personality. She had such a strong will. Determination was so evident. Yes, she had to have tubes to breathe, her lungs were too damaged to do so on their own. (This is part of where the hate came to my soul). But, the first time I helped change her diaper, her little legs stood straight up, causing laughter, because she was trying to help her grandma change a diaper with her on her belly and inside a baby cave.
I felt her laughter, even though I could not hear it. Her little shoulders would shake and a smile would peek out from behind the tape holding her tube.
The first time she touched my face. Lifting her little hand to my cheek. My heart sailed. Just like her brother knew grandma's voice, so did my precious angel.
We spent a good deal of time in the NICU. Where so many babies spent the first part of their lives. So many walks of life. So many beautiful souls. Each one touching the lives of their family in ways they would not have been able to if they had not been given the chance.
Sometimes these babies live, sometimes, just like our Ali, they do not. However, to be denied of the precious memories would have been a tragedy in itself.
I can only give you my experience. My thoughts and feelings on this time.
I just know, seeing this sweet girl, being a part of her life, experiencing all I did, was the most beautiful and most heartbreaking time of my life. I would not trade it for anything.
If you ever have any doubts of when a baby becomes a human being, spend a few days at a NICU. There are babies from so many stages of pregnancy. Each one as beautiful as the next. See the pains the hospital goes to making the NICU a place for these wonderful little people. Be touched by the dedication the nurses have in their care of these babies they don't know will live or die.
I don't wish anyone to ever have to be on the receiving end of a NICU, because it is not a place I would wish on anyone. However, it is an eye opening experience that only cemented in stone my firm beliefs I've had since before I was a mother.
Our little Ali was a fighter. She was amazing. She brought to my heart a love I never knew could be so deep.
So, yes, when I see States passing laws that would allow these beautiful little humans to be taken away before they ever have the chance to live in this world. Learn lessons to make them into the people they can become. It breaks my heart wide open.
People justify their thoughts by saying, "If the mother's health is at risk." Well, wake up folks, that is not the true use of this procedure. It never has been and never will be the sole reason for this act.
I've sat with moms who've aborted their children only days after the fact. I've held them in my arms as their tears flowed and their hearts broke. Because once it's done, there is no going back. I've watched good women go from good people to drugs and alcohol because they can't face what they've done to get out of having a child. They can't even look the children they've had in the face, because of what they've done to their siblings.
So, no, I can't in good heart feel this act is ever going to be moral. God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but we have to accept the challenge.
Everyone have a lovely day!!!
Blessings to all!!!