It's still dark out and the breeze is really blowing this morning. The birds woke up about ten minutes ago and the dogs, well, they weren't ready to wake up when I did this morning :)
Sitting out on the porch this morning is like breathing in a bit of fresh air to the day. Coffee in front of me and fingers on the keyboard.
This is my working weekend. So definitely the mornings will be earlier than normal.
I enjoyed the grandchildren yesterday. We spent the entire day outdoors once again. They played from the time they got out of bed until they went home last evening.
The blogging yesterday did help a bit. I'm not as blah as I was, but it is still looming :( I'm looking forward to vacation time when the only responsibility I will have is making sure the grandchildren have a good time :) That could be exactly what I need to kick this mood in the ass.
I also will be solely responsible for all the books and such at work the week before my vacation. So, that could also be a bit of my issue. Nerves. My boss has full faith in me, but it still makes me a bit nervous trying to remember to do everything that needs to be done. I've written everything down that I need to do on what day. So hopefully that helps.
Another aspect could be I am just overthinking things. I do have a bad habit of doing that. That is my writing side for sure. I always do that with my characters when writing. I have this strong desire to understand and know why they feel the way they feel. It justifies their actions and reactions to know these things.
I know I haven't been able to write as much as I desire lately as well. This is always a sure fire way to push me into a solemn mood. It could be something as simple as that. I got so much writing in at retreat, then I came home to write hardly a word (for me that is). I hate that. Writing is a part of who I am, a big part. So when I neglect that aspect of me, well, it is like I am neglecting nourishment for my soul.
I have spent too many days doing those things I've deemed necessities and losing myself in doing what I feel I need to do for others versus what I need to do for myself. So many writers would kill for the quiet time I get. I know this. I get angry with myself for being so slack in that department because I know once I put my mind to it, there is no stopping me.
I've made excuses for myself, but in the end it is just excuses. I need to get back into my habit and letting nothing stop me. I used to kick off anywhere from 30,000 words to 80,000 words a month. Now I'm lucky to get in 2,000. Yeah, this could be my biggest issue of all. Somewhere along this line I lost the drive I used to possess.
When I first began writing my house was a busy place. Maybe that's part of the issue. Things are too quiet anymore LOL. Back in the day when I was pounding out the word count my house seemingly had a revolving door. People in and out all the time. I remember telling myself, one day, this house will be quiet and I will have uninterrupted writing time. Well, that one day is here and I seem to find myself stalled more than writing. Go figure.
Well, I do believe I may have just figured out my issue. Thank you all for letting me ramble away until I was able to see things clearly.
Everyone have a lovely day!!!
Blessings to all!!!