Releasing the soul and letting it soar 01/31/2012
Good afternoon, everyone!!! So much has happened in the last twenty-four hours I just don't even know where to begin. So I guess I will start off by telling you, I do believe someone kicked this old lady's ass while she slept. That's what I get for saying I would take on a night job, huh?!? It was almost 4 in the morning before I got home and finally wound down to lay this weary body down. Ah, the fast pace of this working world we live in. Okay, so I will quit stalling on my best news from yesterday before I get into the subject of this blog title. The Cheyenne Bride became contracted this morning, :) Last evening before I ventured out into the world of working life, I opened my email to find an acceptance letter complete with contract, :) Yes, this is one happy writer today, :) Unfortunately, I'm too tired to climb out on the roof and yell it from the rooftops, :) So now not only will my parnormal be coming out but so will my historical!!! Yes, 2012 is a year for dreams to come true!!! It is also a realization year for me that came out of the blue last evening when I left group. We were asked the question, "What about yourself have you noticed in the course of your healing?" This question stayed with me on the drive home and I was almost there where when I realized something about me that had changed tremendously. In the past I always felt as if I needed validation from others, especially when I accomplished something, such as selling my first manuscript. Sure it's great to share in the joy, and this may sound very strange, but I found even had I not sold these manuscripts, I didn't need the validation from others to know I had achieved something. That validation came when I wrote the last word on the last page. I'm sure this will only make sense to those of you who have spent your lifetimes feeding your own soul by using this method of recognition that you exist in this world. Seeking others approval for the things we do. It's an odd feeling that I am finally that comfortable in my own skin. We all have those certain people in life we seek this validation from. We could do so many wonderful things that others were proud to say they know you for, but if that one person shows little to no interest, or points out the million other things in life they deem you a failure for, well, it zaps all life out of the accomplishment. I don't know if it's because I'm another year older, or if I have finally healed inwardly to that point, but I no longer seek this from anyone. Instead I have found a healthy replacement of being happy with my accomplishments and enjoying the friendships where validation is not a necessity, but just friends being friends, sharing in my ups andn downs. I've learned to share in the ups and downs on a productive level for not only myself but my inner circle of friends and family. Their friendship and love is all that is necessary for me to feel cared for, loved, and validated in this lifetime. Strange isn't it what a birthday can bring to mind? Everyone have a lovely day!!! Blessings to all!!! Add Comment Today marks the day of a new beginning 01/30/2012
Good afternoon, everyone!!! Today is not just my birthday, but a day where a new beginning starts for me. So much has already transpired for the 2012 new year and so much more lies ahead. I knew there would be some backlash on some of the things that have accomplished this year so far, but man, why do people have to be so full of hate that they refuse to allow the lies to finally come to an end? But it's all good. Truth is truth, no matter how one tries to downplay it or make it into what it's not. I rest in the knowledge that every truth will have it's day and boy, when this one comes around it is gonna be big. All I have to say is I do hope no one else has to suffer the humiliation and torment that I know all too well, when the truth does finally have it's day. Tonight I go back into the work force more to help out a friend than any other reason. Not just to help her out but to be able to spend good quality time with her once again, :) Pretty exciting seeing as we both are so busy anymore finding time to spend together always seems to get shoved to the side, :( So starting today we start spending five days a week together again!!! Yes, we will tolerate one another that often, because frankly there probably isn't anyone else in the world that could tolerate the two of us that often, LOL, and together, I'm positive no one could stand it, LOL. Hubby and the kids are fantastic, :) They made me a brownie cake yesterday to celebrate, complete with candles to mark my 48,437th birthday :) I also got some really cool gifts, :) And count them, TWO, yes I said TWO, Frappe Mochas, :) I made a great dinner of homemade chicken and dumplings, :) The daughter took care of the skinning and deboning of the chicken for me (I hate that part of the job, but she seems to not mind doing it at all, so works out good). Spent the morning with hubby and the oldest son at the dentist. Pretty strange how all three of us managed to get the same appointment time with the same dentist. Sure hubby and I planned ours that way, but the son's appointment was made after ours with no knowledge we were going to be going. They just take hubby and I back together to assist us. I found the perfect houseboat for hubby and I to retire on, Psych Ward, is her name, :) We browse the houseboats here and there because frankly that is our plan for retirement, a houseboat on a nice southern lake, :) I can write anywhere, but he can't fish just any place, :) When I found this one the other night I couldn't resist telling him I found our houseboat, :) Unfortunately it was a bit small for our retirement tastes. But just think of the decorating possibilities with a boat with that name, :) Our weekend was a typical one around these parts. The Indiana weather of course is also typical. Snow, rain, sunshine, cold, warmer, and somewhere in between. One just never knows what it will do next around here. Kinda like our life, :) It's all good though, life is life in these parts, :) Well I really should get something productive done before I head out to group. Everyone have a lovely day!!! Blessings to all!!! Just some rambling thoughts on Critiques 01/28/2012
Good morning, everyone!!! This morning I have no idea where this blog will go or what form it will take, so just bare with me, :) One thing that has been on my mind is how vital do writers find their critique partners. To me they are the very lifeline of the writing world. When our new Critique Group Coordinator and I were brainstorming the other day, we both agreed on this aspect. For me a critique partner/partners are those that help us prepare our work both mentally and physically for that outside world. They are the ones who give us constructive criticism helping us learn that even when we believe our work is perfect there is always something that can be improved. They prepare us mentally for the editor, publisher, or agent, only with a great more insight about our writing. I've been very fortunate. My first experience with a critique partner was from a published author who was more of a mentor than a critique partner. What I sent her needed a great deal of work, what I came away with was a manuscript that begun getting requests for fulls instead of the form letter rejections. I took away from those five pages she made suggestions on a lifetime of writing skills that have proved invaluable to my all my writings. My next critique partner helped me to hone in my writing. She helped me zero in on all the more critical aspects of staying in POV, showing versus telling, you know those insane little things new writers do without thinking, :) She helped me fine tune my writing. My next critique group is one I'm still working with today. We help one another by pointing out all we've each learned in critiquing and bring to the table valuable feedback for one another. This group is not only a critique group, but a goal partner group to keep our eye on the mark. We help each other push the limits to what we believe we can do and take them one step further. It is this group that gave me the insentive to get my work out there, :) The discussion came to the table a bit over the course of this week on how to effectively help others with critiques. I am a firm believer you can be brutally blunt without being harsh. I've seen critiques that if I received them I would probably given up writing all together because of the wording. I've read enough in the contest loops about how these critiques are taken by the author. To me a critique partner is not someone who is going to give you flowery, blow smoke up your ass, kind of reviews, but an honest opinion stated in a manner that gives the author hope they can get back down to business and turn that scene around. Writing in any form is not easy, contrary to belief. Sure the storylines may fill our heads just like a normal person would awake in the night needing a glass of water. We awake in the night just as needy to jot down an idea, a plot, or a character. It is in our blood. I try to remember this when critiquing another's work. We are sensitive about the manuscript in all its realms. However, we're putting it out there, so yes, we want to know what it is about this piece that may not be working. I so often hear people knock the romance genre, but....if only those who knock it knew how much work goes into them. How much dedication is behind putting out one novel. Yes, romance writers are writers. We come together from all walks of life to bring the world a release from their reality. Sure our heroes are sometimes out of this world. Other times, well, they are just average joes, :) Critique partners help us perfect the worlds within those pages. They are normally the first people outside ourselves who get that first glimpse into the world we have created. They are the people behind the scenes that assist us in bringing to the world the final touches that we bring to you. For this author critique groups have been a vital aspect to my writing. I've had such wonderful positive experiences with them. For me they help keep things real. Keep me from becoming cocky, :) They are that constant reminder that no matter what improvement can be made, :) Everyone have a lovely day!!! Blessings to all!!! Good evening, everyone!!! Ah yes, I really really really need to stay in my own corner of paradise and just let the rest of the world go on without me for a few days. I have like a million things on the to-do-list and I just need to lock myself away and get them done. My characters are taking a twist in my current WIP that I so didn't see coming right away. I have to really keep telling myself to just let them have their way because if not then I am going to end up going back and changing it the way they want it when all is said and done anyway. Then of course I still need to get to some polishing work on book 2 in my Darkness Series. If all of this wasn't enough to have going on in the writing project department another storyline came crashing into my head tonight. When I say 'crashing' I mean really bowled me over kind of crashing. To the point that I could probably start working on it and just give it free reign and it would practically write itself. Unfortunately there is this thing called sleep that my body tells me is a requirement for the daily well-being of those around me. Not real sure I want to test the waters of this particular daily requirement, that may just backfire on me something terrible. Had a lovely brainstorming session with the new Critique Group Coordinator. I am so glad this wonderful woman agreed to do this. She has just the right personality for the job and I am positive she is going to be fantastic. She and I are on the same level with what needs to happen and each hope for the same general outcome. I LOVE brainstorming sessions in all forms, :) I tried out a few different new backgrounds on the website today, of course as you can tell I didn't like any of them, :( I added the author bio page today and changed the pages around a bit, but for the most part there is no other background that fits me quite as well as this one does, :) Yeah, stalling tatic for getting things done that really need done. I told you I'm an expert at procrastination, :) Yesterday was dedicated to chapter business today I dedicated to me and my own business. Okay, so I watched the movie The Help yesterday, that part was for me, :) Pretty good movie. Yes, I guess I really should have locked myself away from the world today. I could have gotten so much more accomplished than I did. I am proud of what I have accomplished this week, even though it could have been more. I'll master this new schedule one of these days, :) Well I really shouldn't blog while sleepy. I've been fighting that old fatigue deal this week in a big kind of way. One of these days this too shall pass, but until then I have to deal with it. I just need to find that one person in this house brave enough to light those firecrackers under my chair whenever I appear to be too dazed, :) Everyone have a lovely evening!!! Blessings to all!!! The week is off to a good start 01/24/2012
Good evening, everyone!!! This week started off on a good note, :) A request for a full in the inbox, :) Yeah, every writer's dream next to the email that says, "YES, we want to publish you," and a contract waiting in the inbox. I also got back to my daily new word goals, which is rather helpful. I plan to keep to that one tonight and hopefully get a few more new words in before tomorrow. The next two days I plan to get down and dirty and add some polishing work in the mix, :) Starting on that dreaded synopsis for Darkness Brings Desire while I'm at it. Don't you hate writing those??? I know I do, but it is what it is and has to be done to get anywhere in this business so....write one I will. My thyroid doctor told on me to my main doctor today, :( We had discussed some issues that she wants to insure get checked out by my main, so she sent her a report on me, :( Imagine my surprise when I received a phone call from the nurse. They are going to decide if it's something I should come in now for or if it can wait until my scheduled appointment in April. Doesn't that suck!!! I can't get away with anything, :( I promise I was going to discuss it with the main doctor in April, I swear!!! Yeah, that came out of nowhere. I told you I can keep up with a ramble, :) I can also change subjects as quickly as I start one, :) Anyway, back to writing, :) I have received rights to a story that I was asked if I would be interested in writing, :) Of course the topic of this story is very based on true, will help in a cause so deeply embedded in me that I know I can do it justice, and the perk is that it could very well help make changes in a cause I believe strongly in. It is a bit different from the one I spoke of in an earlier blog, but along the same lines and without having to get further permission. It will be a little bit before the ending to this storyline is complete, seeing as we are still in the midst of all that is happening at present, but I promise you it will be a story that will speak to the very depths of your soul. I will be soon setting up a website for Domestic Violence. Where this book will be promoted from. I will be having some help with this website from other victims who wish to see a change in society and the laws surrounding Domestic Violence. The mission for this year is to begin this journey into making these changes. In a way that can impact the world around us. Shed light into the dark corners of not only the minds of the abusers but also the minds of the victims of the abuse. So yes, this up and coming year is going to be one full of changes on this journey I call life. I feel as if I'm moving in a direction that completes me. No longer am I bound by the restrictions of the past. I can move forward to set an example for others like me. People who have dreams they are not sure are obtainable, but still crave them as deeply as their body craves food. Everyone have a lovely night!!! Blessing to all!! Time to get back to the daily grind 01/22/2012
Good evening, everyone!!! Yeah, Monday is only a short while away and we all know what that means, back to the same old same old. For me that means getting this new schedule set in solid stone. No more time to play around with it, just sink it in that concrete and move it forward. I have to get some sort of rock solid going on this coming week because the following week is getting ready to play real heavy into my world. New sleep schedule the works. But it's all good, I'll figure it out I usually do. We had a really nice day today. Hubby, Bug, and I spent the morning locked away in this bedroom watching the ID channel and just hanging out. I'm kinda sorta getting addicted to that blasted channel which is so NOT good. I made hubby shut it down after a show because I knew if he didn't we'd never get brunch, :) I'd been sitting on my backside watching another hour long show just as engrossed with it as I was the ones before. That old man loves doing things like that too me, :) Do you think maybe he's trying to pull me away from the laptop a bit??? I would say most likely. I'm starting to believe this thing is attached to my fingertips most days. One would think as much as I'm on here I would have a million novels completed by now, :) If only it was all for working on my own writings, ahhhhhh. Yesterday afternoon I helped the little ones bundle up good and took them out to play in the snow a bit. I'm pretty much the only one in the house that will withstand the cold to do this, :) But we had a great time and of course I got lots of pics, :) Lady Bug made 'Snow Queens' her version of snow angels. I figure that came from the story in our Grandma's Bedtime Stories book. They love being read to and of course I don't mind kicking off a story before bedtime when they request it, :) I do refuse to read Little Red Riding Hood out of that book anymore though, not that I need to read it again, Bug knows it by heart from the first time we read it. We are all kind of fond of The Little Dragon Who Learned To Fly, though, :) and of course The Snow Queen story, :) So yeah, this is what I am leaving behind for the week ahead. My last week of freedom before I reenter the work force and turn my daily schedule into something even more insane than it already is, :) But I'll be happy to be reunited with my partner in crime on a daily basis, :) Well I'm going to sign off this thing for the night. Everyone have lovely night!!! Blessings to all!!! Don't you just love weekends 01/21/2012
Good morning, everyone!!! I love waking up on a Saturday or Sunday to the sounds of hubby and grandson sitting in the living room, watching tv, playing angry birds, and conversing as if they have nothing more in this world to do than their casual conversations. I just lay there in my big comfy bed, in our bedroom just off the living room, listening to the laughter and some mornings, more serious talk. Have you ever heard a serious conversation a five year old can come up with? Hubby is fantastic about it all, always treating each conversation with whatever tone the grandson pops off with, :) This is their special time of the day when hubby is home. Kinda like during the week and it is just Bug and I for a few hours each morning. Something I would never try to butt in on, because frankly Bug and hubby enjoy their mornings together. This is their bonding time, their relationship building time. You have to understand about Bug a bit. He doesn't really warm up to people much. Both of our granddaughters have outgoing personalities. They love people and interaction with people. Bug is a bit different. He can be wild and wooly, 100% boy, but when it comes to interaction with people, he's very choosy. Especially with his conversations. So it is really wonderful when you are presented with these moments first thing in the morning, before the world starts getting a big more chaotic and he's all relaxed and shares a little of what is going on inside that head of his, :) Hubby and I enjoy the relationships we are building with the grandchildren. It's nice to just relax with the little ones and enjoy their personalities and yes, the insanity some days, :) We adore each of them in all their glory. Weekends are those times when we really get to put aside the hustle and bustle of the week and just relax with them and enjoy the time. Sundays around here are family days. Where all the grandchildren are under one roof. All the children are under one roof. Once in awhile even the adopted children and their children are here. Our big house seems so small filled with people, but it also has that quaint family feel to it. Warmer weather we spend this family time outdoors enjoying the weather, cookouts, bonfires (on occassion), with more room to spread out, but still the family time feel swarms over. Three generations of our little family growing, living, and just enjoying the company. So see, when I say I'm blessed, it has nothing to do with monetary means, it has to do with the love and wonder that surrounds me in this thing we call family. Those treasured moments that come with true unconditional love. Relationships built on nothing more than just being who we are, accepting one another for just that, and enjoying the differences that make us individuals. Everyone have a lovely day!!! Blessings to all!!! I told you the wallowing wouldn't last long 01/19/2012
Good evening, everyone!!! Yeah, two blogs, one day, :) I told you the wallowing wouldn't last long. I cleared my head, took a nap, went to group for some wonderful enlightenment on life, and yep, came home to hot vamps and amazing wares and then got back to business, :) I finished up the dedication, bio, acknowledgement, blurb, and two sentences and sent them off to SMP. Got the goal/crit partners emailed. Thought about sleep, but decided to blog first, :) There is so much fresh in my mind right now. Like how amazing it is when you have something hounding you for a week and then suddenly a light comes on and you get it. Life throws all kinds of tests our way be it medical or on a more emotional human to human realm. I couldn't figure out why a particular situation was just eating away at me. Then tonight it hit me so profoundly that it all makes sense now, :) I told a friend if I thought long enough and attended group this week, answers would come. Well, they have!!! The first thing I was reminded of tonight right out of the gate is how we let life affect us. This is so true on so many levels. People, situations, even those little moments in our day that really suck. We do have the power to control how all of it affects us and how we look at things. I know this, I just had to give myself my moment of wallowing in the irritation. Well, that part is behind me, because frankly all the situations I've been dealing with or will have to deal with only reflect on me in the sense of how I accept and deal with them. Reaction, such a strong word, huh?!? Things went back to the "four question" aspect I spoke of in another blog. So nope didn't get past the first question on one aspect, and yeah, got through all four of them on another aspect of life. So made the decision to chose how things affect me and not let circumstances affect me. Kinda like letting the good happen, deal with the bad as it creeps up on me, and continue to live my life. I can only control how I react, not how someone else reacts. Everything we do in life or are presented with tests our levels in one aspect or another. Sure it feels fantastic sitting in the Primative and Emotion aspects of the brain for awhile, but who the hell wants to stay there??? No, life is so much better when we use the Rational part of the brain. I've learned a great deal about myself over the course of time. One thing I know for sure is the person who has begun to emerge from those depths of my own personal hell, is one I'm not only happy with, but proud of. Why should I allow circumstances or people to take that away from me??? I shouldn't, because it is within my power to hold onto that woman and give her wings to fly. Life is a beautiful thing. I treasure it with all I have. Why not??? I've been blessed with some pretty amazing adventures and travels along this road. I've learned a great deal from a great many women who were once broken and have clawed their way back to the top, reinventing themselves along the way, and taking pride in that reinvention. There is no shame in being once broken, the shame is never knowing you don't have to remain so. Things are broken so they can be fixed. They may not be exactly as they once were, but they have the ability to become better than ever before. The learning experiences that come with them are mind blowing. Does this mean I am over the fear of what the future holds? Naw, it just means that whatever it does hold, that fear will NOT control me. That is within my power, and I cling to it with every ounce I have in my being. This same fear gave me the courage to say, okay, this is what you're going to do, this is how you're going to do it, and firm decisions have been set into place. No one knows how much time they have on this earth, but it is not how much time we have, but what we do with it while we have it. So I will make the most of things, chase those dreams, and shout from every mountaintop as I grab them in my hands, cling to them, and treasure the beauty that dreams are made of. Everyone have a lovely night!!! Blessings to all!!! Good afternoon, everyone!!! So yes, I'm going to do my own little rant today just to get this behind me so I can have a productive writing day. Now mind you I adore my thyroid doctor. She's great, always makes sure you understand what is going on, schedules so she has time to spend with you, and her bedside manner is just fantastic. However, I'm a bit not happy with her today. Okay, it's not really her par say, it's I'm just not happy with why she and I get to spend so much time together. Yeah got the news this morning fourth biopsy in a year is coming and it wasn't the one I expected, damn it, now it could easily be five biopsies in a year, errrrr. It is a repeat on one of the biopsies I've already had, with another area thrown in for good meausure, from a doctor that doesn't like to do them unless she feels it's absolutely necessary because of the 'fun' involved that goes with this one. So yeah, it kinda sucks the life right out of this week. This moment is my time to wallow in it, because frankly, I have too much to do to let it take up anymore time than that. So I apologize for the blog in advance because it is not the most uplifting I know. But I don't feel all that uplifting at the present, so please accept my apology in advance. I knew this appointment has been coming for weeks now, (had to put all my this year's appointments in my new datebook when it arrived). I was too busy the last two weeks to even think about it coming. Then after the busy weekend, well, it just kinda hit and I told myself, "Oh it's just a check, no big deal." Imagine my surprise when it turned out otherwise. I honestly think it surprised my doctor too, seeing as my thyroid levels are back in the 'good' range. I even gained four pounds since my last visit, :) Which she and I both were happy about. I think we both thought this ultrasound was just a formality to make sure things were good. Yes, this so needs to go to the back burner of the brain. I have my paperwork to finish up for SMP which I intend to have done by the end of today, :) I also started catching up where I need to start some new writing on Kiss of Darkness, which I am hoping to work on today too. Then this evening is group and a planning meeting via messenger with the VP for the up and coming. I also need to start on my speech for the Domestic Violence speech. See I told you I don't have time to sit and stew on what is yet to be. Today alone is already chaulked full of "what needs my attention." I guess you could say yesterday was that day that lead up to this one. I felt it in my bones. I spent the morning handling emails, the afternoon watching little ones, and the evening vegging on my big comfy chair in front of the tv watching movies on serial killers and one 'very much like' Pride and Prejudice mini series to top my night off before going to bed way too late for getting up way too early. I so sat on the edge of my seat watching this four part mini series just waiting on the hero and heroine to FINALLY admit their feelings for each other. Which of course did NOT happen until the end of the four part. I do love that contented sigh when things finally fall into place. Okay, three of the four children, hubby, and two of the besties have been told about my morning. I can put it all behind me for the day once the fourth child has been told. So yeah, I think a nap is in order to pass the time until he gets home and then I'm going to get back to living life instead of sitting around in this sleepy daze. Everyone have a lovely day!!! Blessings to all!!! Jumping back in the saddle 01/16/2012
Good evening, everyone!!! Well I've been working on getting back in the saddle today. Kind of slow going but at least I got three of the five things finished for the paperwork I need to send back in to SMP, :) Tomorrow is a new day so hopefully I will get more accomplished than I did today. I handled a bit of business which was good. Chatted with my VP for awhile, which was real good, :) But I think the best part of my day was waking up with three grandchildren in the house this morning, :) We babysat Little Miss Ava while mommy and daddy had a date night, :) She was such a little doll, :) So much fun to play with, cuddle with, and laugh with. She is just the busiest little one year old, LOL. Grandpa and I had her all to ourselves for a bit last evening, :) I adore the fact that this little angel loves being rocked, :) This is one grandma that loves sitting in the rocking chair holding her grandbabies, :) Little Miss Ava and Bug really livened the house up this morning. I don't think they stayed in one room five minutes, LOL. But it gave me time to catch up on the dishes and get a few things finished up that needed done before I sat down in front of the computer today. Lady Bug of course was grandma's best friend this afternoon, :) She and I had a tea party and she ran a candy store for a bit in grandma's office area, :) I do like her candy stores because she likes chocolate just like grandma, LOL. Hey, pretend chocolate doesn't have as many calories, :) I spent a nice evening at group. It was very enlightening. I also emailed the judge I will be speaking for in March. I feel very blessed to be speaking in this particular judge's classroom. This is something I definitely want to be more involved with this up and coming year. Next week I add back the exercise program I've been putting off. It's time and with so much help around the house lately, I have the time to put toward it again. In two weeks I start helping the bestie out five nights a week. My plate, I will have to say, will be packed full and there is no room for looking behind any longer, only ahead. Isn't it odd how you make a decision about some things in life and then things happen to ensure you keep to your decisions? I had decided this was my year for moving completely into the world I want, and boom, it all takes twists and turns and things happen. Where will I be this time next year? Who knows, but this year will be one hell of a journey. A journey I am looking forward to traveling, I have to say. Do I know what lies ahead? No, that would take the mystery and fun out of it, wouldn't it?!? But one thing I know for sure, I'm ready for the unknown. Everyone have a lovely night!!! Blessings to all!!! | Ramblings of a WriterWithin this space you will find the ramblings of a writer, a wife, a mother, and a grandmother. CategoriesArchives |

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