Good evening, everyone!!!
I know it has been a little while since I blogged, so who knows, this one could be a long one, LOL.
Good news is Destiny's Price is ready for the final read through and then ready for publication. I sat and cried like a baby as I listened to the last few chapters this evening, just a little spoiler alert ;)
Things have been a little rough emotionally this past year. It's hard when the last of your children leave the nest, even though you don't think it will be. In fact, my writing personality has often thought what it would be like to have all the kids gone and hubby on the road most of the time. How excited that side of me was just thinking about all the writing time I would have each day, LOL.
Well, when reality hits, you find yourself reassessing your life. Where do you fit into this world now that all the children are gone and hubby is only home 4 days a month. I've been readjusting to my new lifestyle, and most days not so good. You eat alone (even though I've actually been doing this part for years, just didn't want to admit that to myself I guess). I walk through the grocery and wonder what on earth I am going to feed myself each week.
My first choices were quick and easy. Some of my other choices were too complicated for just one. I'm now in a mode where I pick up a few different choices, then decide when the day comes LOL.
There is so much quiet around here it makes me crazy sometimes. This same quiet I longed for over the course of time, when the house was full of people and I couldn't wait for everyone to go to bed and get out of my hair.
Of course, I still have my furry and feathered friends. I still escape to the farm to hang out with my sister as we take in some nature therapy. But, I was having a good deal of trouble figuring out where life goes from here.
I know what I want out of life. I know that I long to get back to my stories and get them out there to you. But, it was almost like a depression, a place hard to get back from.
It's easy to know what will occupy your time when you have kids underfoot. There is always something to be done. There still is, if truth be told. I let the house go for days, so when I clean it feels like there's something to clean. I set no schedules for myself other than my work schedule anymore. Because why bind yourself to such things when you don't have to :)
I went against my own advice, seeking my needs within others, such as thinking if I didn't chat with someone, or make plans to go somewhere, or just anything of the sort, I could not possibly be happy. I know better than that.
I started this year off with good intentions only to be slapped down by the what am I to do now mentality. Only after a week away from the real world, spending a lovely vacation in the new camper, by the lake, did I realize what I needed to be doing.
I needed to get back to the basics so to speak. Engross myself in my manuscripts and get my life back on track. So, here I am digging myself out of the hole I've put myself in. Birds chirping in the background both inside this house and out. Angel and Mr. Gray making full use of their fly cage. Tweety hanging upside down from one of her swings. While Gracie, Rudy, and Sunny delve into their bird feeder. A cat and two dogs at my feet, who show me every day I make up their world. Stories created from just images in my mind, filling the pages and taking me to another place and time as these manuscripts unfold.
I've allowed other people's lives to bring me down. Taking to heart too much that does not belong to me. I've gotten caught up in the drama that is not mine to reside in. Every day wondering if this is another day I or someone I love will be accused of yet another stupid thing and wondering when it will all stop.
I realized I have been trying to escape from a life that really isn't mine to escape from. It hit home the day I read a meme that stated, "Don't get caught up in your grown kids problems. It will soon kill you." Truer words have never been spoken. They've actually set me free in some ways.
I found I'm allowing too much to take over what I want out of life. What I want is very different than what others want for theirs and that's okay. I found myself drowning in what wasn't my ocean. I call this a processing time. Because just as I know I cannot allow myself to get caught up in things that don't belong to me, I also know, to not follow my dreams and my heart, is doing myself a disservice. Yet, I have to let my brain process all of it, before I can move forward.
Just when I think I've processed something else would come forth. It has only been in the last month that I realized I can't keep stopping my life every time one of these little speed bumps drops by and says pay attention to me. At some point it has to be enough is enough. I've reached that point (hopefully).
I am tired of always telling myself, "When I get through this," or, "When this settles down." If I spend my life in this mind frame, I'll never get anywhere in this life.
So, I've taken on the mind frame, "Fuck it," in the words of Frankie and Grace. If it's blocking progress, then it goes to the wayside.
So, wish me luck, and hopefully that final read through will be done this week. Then it will be onto the next one, and then the next.
Everyone have a lovely night!!!
Blessings to all!!!
I know it has been a little while since I blogged, so who knows, this one could be a long one, LOL.
Good news is Destiny's Price is ready for the final read through and then ready for publication. I sat and cried like a baby as I listened to the last few chapters this evening, just a little spoiler alert ;)
Things have been a little rough emotionally this past year. It's hard when the last of your children leave the nest, even though you don't think it will be. In fact, my writing personality has often thought what it would be like to have all the kids gone and hubby on the road most of the time. How excited that side of me was just thinking about all the writing time I would have each day, LOL.
Well, when reality hits, you find yourself reassessing your life. Where do you fit into this world now that all the children are gone and hubby is only home 4 days a month. I've been readjusting to my new lifestyle, and most days not so good. You eat alone (even though I've actually been doing this part for years, just didn't want to admit that to myself I guess). I walk through the grocery and wonder what on earth I am going to feed myself each week.
My first choices were quick and easy. Some of my other choices were too complicated for just one. I'm now in a mode where I pick up a few different choices, then decide when the day comes LOL.
There is so much quiet around here it makes me crazy sometimes. This same quiet I longed for over the course of time, when the house was full of people and I couldn't wait for everyone to go to bed and get out of my hair.
Of course, I still have my furry and feathered friends. I still escape to the farm to hang out with my sister as we take in some nature therapy. But, I was having a good deal of trouble figuring out where life goes from here.
I know what I want out of life. I know that I long to get back to my stories and get them out there to you. But, it was almost like a depression, a place hard to get back from.
It's easy to know what will occupy your time when you have kids underfoot. There is always something to be done. There still is, if truth be told. I let the house go for days, so when I clean it feels like there's something to clean. I set no schedules for myself other than my work schedule anymore. Because why bind yourself to such things when you don't have to :)
I went against my own advice, seeking my needs within others, such as thinking if I didn't chat with someone, or make plans to go somewhere, or just anything of the sort, I could not possibly be happy. I know better than that.
I started this year off with good intentions only to be slapped down by the what am I to do now mentality. Only after a week away from the real world, spending a lovely vacation in the new camper, by the lake, did I realize what I needed to be doing.
I needed to get back to the basics so to speak. Engross myself in my manuscripts and get my life back on track. So, here I am digging myself out of the hole I've put myself in. Birds chirping in the background both inside this house and out. Angel and Mr. Gray making full use of their fly cage. Tweety hanging upside down from one of her swings. While Gracie, Rudy, and Sunny delve into their bird feeder. A cat and two dogs at my feet, who show me every day I make up their world. Stories created from just images in my mind, filling the pages and taking me to another place and time as these manuscripts unfold.
I've allowed other people's lives to bring me down. Taking to heart too much that does not belong to me. I've gotten caught up in the drama that is not mine to reside in. Every day wondering if this is another day I or someone I love will be accused of yet another stupid thing and wondering when it will all stop.
I realized I have been trying to escape from a life that really isn't mine to escape from. It hit home the day I read a meme that stated, "Don't get caught up in your grown kids problems. It will soon kill you." Truer words have never been spoken. They've actually set me free in some ways.
I found I'm allowing too much to take over what I want out of life. What I want is very different than what others want for theirs and that's okay. I found myself drowning in what wasn't my ocean. I call this a processing time. Because just as I know I cannot allow myself to get caught up in things that don't belong to me, I also know, to not follow my dreams and my heart, is doing myself a disservice. Yet, I have to let my brain process all of it, before I can move forward.
Just when I think I've processed something else would come forth. It has only been in the last month that I realized I can't keep stopping my life every time one of these little speed bumps drops by and says pay attention to me. At some point it has to be enough is enough. I've reached that point (hopefully).
I am tired of always telling myself, "When I get through this," or, "When this settles down." If I spend my life in this mind frame, I'll never get anywhere in this life.
So, I've taken on the mind frame, "Fuck it," in the words of Frankie and Grace. If it's blocking progress, then it goes to the wayside.
So, wish me luck, and hopefully that final read through will be done this week. Then it will be onto the next one, and then the next.
Everyone have a lovely night!!!
Blessings to all!!!