It has been a little while since I blogged but once in awhile I have to let things absorb before putting things down into words. A good deal of the time blogging is one of the ways I release things that I have absorbed.
It has been an emotional and heartbreaking last week. So many deaths in our area so many emotions being absorbed into my being. The one that really struck deeply was the ten year old boy's suicide.
Empaths soak up the emotions around them like a sponge. Connect this with personal knowledge of a person and it is worse. It consumes and depletes energy.
At work I stay busy, keep moving, no down time. It helps compartmentalize the emotions. However, once I get home, the energies that have been taken in have to have their moment, depleting me of all desires to do anything.
When something happens so tragically, so emotional, you have to allow your brain and heart to know and feel what is. This is what happened this past week. So many in our community was touched deeply by the death of this young boy. The emotions were a whirlwind for someone like me who feels each and every sensation. By the weekend I was drained completely.
Fortunately, I know this about myself and I also know there is only one way through the emotional turmoil. Rest.
Today, is time to send these emotions into the cosmos and start moving forward. Sure, there is still high emotions moving through our community, and the father of this young man is part of our daily life at our store. The compassion I feel will always remain as long as it is needed, however, it has been absorbed, taken into my soul, and now can be useful in the manner it needs to be and still allow me to move forward in life.
People have no idea what empaths go through unless they are one. For years I never knew what this was or even that it had a name. I had no idea how to control it which wasn't a good thing. With the help of meditation and my dearest lady, I am now better able to understand its meaning and purpose in this life and better able to know how to handle it.
If emotions have worn me down, such as this past week, I give them their time, let them absorb into their rightful place within me. Then I am better able to move forward. High emotions such as grief are very consuming. A broken heart is the hardest to move forward from.
I believe this ability is given to people to allow them to become more compassionate of others. Compassion is one thing, self inflicted drama is another. Empaths learn the difference between the two and are better able to sort through this because they have experienced both first hand.
Would I trade having the ability to feel what others are feeling? No. Why? Because it makes me a better person.
I've learned the difference between true compassion and needy compassion. True compassion comes from emotions that are not self inflicted, such as grief. Self inflicted stems from people always wanting the compassion of others even when they are not going through anything life changing.
Both can be draining, however, one deserves the compassion, the other needs to learn to grow within themselves.
Self inflicted is easier to put up a wall (empaths will understand this term) to shield themselves from the emotional turmoil someone is putting themselves through.
However, true compassion of someone moving into a point in life where their world is altered forever, is much harder to throw up a wall against. Why? Because empaths understand this life change all to well. We are reluctant to throw up a wall in situations like these. However, we also know to move forward with life we must also protect ourselves emotionally and physically. So we absorb the emotions, feel them, allow them to change us, we learn from them, and we move forward slowly.
Until I learned all of this, I would become an emotional meltdown mess. Today, I understand more how to use this ability to the best of my knowledge and live with it.
Everyone have a lovely day!!!
Blessings to all!!!